Yesterday I started work again. I was too angry and too sad to write about it. I feel betrayed. Betrayed by my country, for not giving me the opportunity to spend the time with my baby that I should have. Betrayed by society for making me feel that it is wrong to have children and that we do not deserve to spend at least the first year of our children's lives fully with them.
I know I am overly emotional about this and that it probably is not as bad as I feel at this moment, but I cannot help it.
I am angry that I only got to spend the first four months of Ri's life fully with her, and only now, that we have figured each other out and things are easier, I have to hand her over to someone else for 8+ hour every day. I am angry that I had to drink medication to stop my milk supply or else I would leak (or explode) during my working hours. I am angry that I probably will not be the first to see her sit, crawl or walk for the first time.
I know there are some countries that allow their female employers more time with their children, and I tip my hat to you all, but that is unfortunately not my country.
When did our society become so economically driven that something as natural and necessary as childbirth, became something we have to suffer for financially or feel bad about?
💛
Mama Theo.Ri
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